Where does success start first? - Part 2

With the previous posting regarding where does success start first.  There were some questions on how to have the "heart and mind".

There are a few aspects we have to look into first.

1) We need to see the reason or reasons WHY we want to achieve certain things.

As the common saying, when the WHY is big enough, the how would automatically come.
For the boy I mentioned in my previous post, he may be too young to really know WHY he wants to be successful in his academic.  Even if he knows the WHY, he would be probably distracted or thinks he does not want to be successful when facing difficulties.  This is not only happening to young children but adult as well.
Sometimes, adult may be even more well trained to give reasons or excuses that they no longer have "passion" into pursuing the things they thought they used to want it.

And it is no surprise, when facing adversity, we tend to rationalise, lay blame or even justify our actions, or lack of action, so that we feel good.

One way to give more clarity to WHY and WHAT we want to achieve is to visualize we already achieving that goal and make ourselves feeling that sense of achievement.  As we see and feel the goals we are achieving, if there is sense of excitement or fulfillment, we sure have the "heart" of wanting to be successful.

Some people call this visualization techniques while other call it focusing.   We might want to spend time with ourselves or the children to do this 5 to 10 mins a day.  It would probably, give us more clarity and we may discover new reasons why we want this goals.

2)  Another area is many a times, we are influenced by ours or somebody non-successful experience.  For example, the boy may have some experiences that he tried hard to be better but the results he had gotten is not favorable.

In that circumstances, he may attached a meaning (conclusion) to that non-successful experience.   For example, he may say these to himself, "I am not good enough in studying", "Study is hard", "I don't want to do better in my study because study is so hard" and etc.  I call this "crappy thought" and I liken this to the "bad crab" in our mind that want us to be mediocre.  I told the boy about the "crab story" so that he understand what is stopping him.   This is the "mind" portion.
Of course, it would be good to have his caregivers remind him from time to time about his "crab" in the mind.
It is all about having good habit of using supportive thought.  As an adult, having somebody holding us accountable is one good way to make sure we maintain and even raise our standards.

 I learnt this phrase from Anthony Robbin training, "nothing has a meaning until we attach the meaning to it".  The boy can use more empowering phrase to help me overcome that bad emotion.



3) Lastly, he probably has to start practicing self-talk that is empowering him.  He need to recognize that all of us are unique in our own way.  He can start to acknowledge the good things he had done and building his self-belief and confidence from there.  I call this "love thyself".  Celebration of every success, no matter how small, is the key to anchor our supportive self-beliefs.  Thus, success breeds success.

In fact, it is all about habit of practicing good thought and behavior.  It is the habit of doing it consistently everyday rather than do it sporadically huge amount that will produce the results.

Now we know a little more about "heart & mind" of being successful, it is about time to practise.

This is my recent reminder for myself and my friends, "Learning only starts when we are doing it, the experience we accumulate then is called knowledge".    Lets do it! Success to you!